


Cold Nights, Aching Bones

by GremlinGirl



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: AU where nobody dies, M/M, Pointless fluff, i just wanted to write something for this pairing because it's so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9198983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GremlinGirl/pseuds/GremlinGirl
Summary: "There was something about sleeping with him, crammed into those tiny regulation bunks that brought warmth like nothing else could."Bodhi has a hard time dealing with the cold on Hoth, especially since his boyfriend is always away on intelligence missions. His hands shake and cold seems to settle in his very bones. However, sleeping with Cassian has a way of warming him up unlike anything else.





	

Bodhi didn’t know a lot of things about the Rebel Alliance. It wasn’t like he had been in this fight for his entire life. No, he was a new recruit, very green to their cause. He didn’t know the ins and outs. How it was different from the Empire. He didn’t know how people could trust someone like him. Bodhi didn’t really know a lot of things about the people here, either. He didn’t know how they were all so casual with one another. It was friendly being in a group with them. People tried to reach out for him and drag him into their conversations. They would talk about things that he didn’t understand, too. He had led a majorly sheltered life running freight for the Empire. It wasn’t like he knew a lot of details about the spice mines of Kessel or the shifting sands of Tatooine. No, Bodhi didn’t know about any of these things. 

 

What he did know, however, was that Hoth was cold. 

 

More than cold, it was freezing. He hated it. No matter how many layers he packed on, he couldn’t seem to get warm. They would have him working in their hangar bay, fixing up ships that needed repairs or trying to reconnect broken communication links, but his hands would shake so hard that he could hardly do the work. And when he would return to his bunk at night, he would lay there and shiver hard enough that it made his teeth chatter. It was so cold that an ache settled deep in his bones and stayed with him consistently. He wasn’t sure why he had such an adverse reaction to being on Hoth, but he did know that he absolutely hated it. It was always wet inside the base because because people tracked snow inside, and it would melt in the heat. But it wasn’t warm enough, so there were just puddles of cold water all along the floors. Bodhi made the mistake of sleeping in his boots one night, and he woke with soaked sheets. And they didn’t dry for days. 

 

“I don’t understand it,” he complained to Jyn one day, staring down into the mush that passed for food. Sometimes he missed just eating ration bars. At least they didn’t taste horrible. “I don’t get it. Jedha was cold. That’s where I’m from. You were there. It’s cold there. It’s cold here. I should be fine!” He stabbed his fork into the goo and pushed it over toward Baze, who gladly took it from him. 

 

“I don’t think Jedha was this cold,” Jyn replied dryly. “There was no snow. It was just...cold. Here it’s wet and gross and, just bad.” She was apparently having just as bad a time as him. They truly were a pair, both wrapped up in as many coats as they could fit into. Several scarves around their necks. No one else dressed quite as extremely as they did.

 

“I wonder how that Tatooine boy is holding up?” Chirrut asked, speaking for the first time. He had already eaten, and was just sitting with them now. Waiting patiently as he always did for the rest of them to hurry and finish their meals.

 

“You mean the Jedi?” Baze asked, looking up from his meal. Or Bodhi’s abandoned meal, anyway. “He seems fine to me. Always practicing with that ‘saber. It’s...good to see.” 

 

Bodhi gave a sigh, stuffing his shaking hands down in the pockets of his jacket. There was no where on this entire base that was warm. Well, there was one way to warm up, but that avenue wasn’t exactly open to him at the moment. His partner of several months now, Cassian Andor, was flying some intelligence mission right now. There was something about sleeping with him, crammed into those tiny regulation bunks that brought warmth like nothing else could. “It’s not fair that he can’t tell us where he’s going or when he’s coming back,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I miss him.” 

 

There was silence at the table for a moment. Everyone knew who he was talking about. There was no need to question him. It had been a few weeks since he had heard from him. And there was worry there. There was always worry. Whenever Cassian left him, Bodhi couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if he didn’t come back. The Empire was vast. Cassian was just one man who had proven multiple times that he put this cause over his own safety. It was something that Bodhi admired in him, but it also scared him to death. 

 

“Trust in the Force to bring him home,” Chirrut said, making Bodhi look over at the wise, old monk. “The Force has been with him through harder trials than this, I am sure. It will not do to worry yourself into panic again. Believe in him, Bodhi. He will be fine.” 

 

“You say that with a lot of confidence,” Bodhi replied with a nervous glance down. He balled his hands into fists before standing up. “I’ve got work in the hangar. I’ll meet up again for dinner tonight. Bye.” He left with a chorus of farewells behind him, but the subject didn’t leave his mind for the rest of the day. He missed his boyfriend. He missed him so much that it ached deep in his chest. 

 

* * *

  
  


It was the third time that Bodhi had tried to replace the wire clips in the damn x-wing. His hands were shaking so horribly that he couldn’t seem to get them into place right. He could hear the muffled conversation from outside the ship. Luke Skywalker talking to someone, he was sure. It was his ship, after all. Bodhi shuffled up, popping his head out and looking down at the blonde man who was standing with Captain Antilles. “I’m sorry, Mr. Skywalker. I am trying. It-it is very cold in here, you see.” He held up his hands, showing him how hard they were trembling. “I really will get this done.” 

 

“Do you need help?” the younger man asked, stepping up on the ladder as if he were going to crawl into the ship with him. 

 

“No, no. I can get it done. It’s my job!” Bodhi insisted, waving his hands somewhat. “I promise that I can manage it.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he ducked back down into the ship, slipping out of the seat and into the cramped flooring. He took the wires in between his fingers and started twisting them in order to get them clipped into place. However, he released them again when he heard the muffled statement from outside of the ship. 

 

“According to Leia, Captain Andor is scheduled to arrive back on base today.” 

 

Bodhi popped up again, gripping the side of the ship as he stared down at Luke Skywalker with wide eyes. “Cassian is coming back? Today?” he asked, his eyes wide and shining. He scrambled out of the ship, feet barely landing on the ladder. “I’m going to get to see Cassian today?” He reached up and rubbed at his cheek, realizing there was a grease stain across it. “Oh, I look awful. He’s going to see me like this?” 

 

“I know how to do it,” Luke siad, taking the clips out of Bodhi’s hand. “Go. Go get ready to see your boyfriend. Go. I can fix my own x-wing. And...just some advice. Don’t worry so much about how you look. It’s Cassian. He doesn’t care. He loves you.” 

 

“Thank you, Luke!” Bodhi jumped down from the ladder and jogged off toward the hallway that led to the bunks. He barely took a couple of steps before the hangar doors began to slide open. He shivered hard as the wind swept in with the ship that came through to land inside. He stood there shivering as this scene played out, hardly able to believe it, because that was Cassian’s ship. His boyfriend was home. And then the man himself was walking down the ramp, looking simply gorgeous. He looked even better than Bodhi remembered, with his hair big fluffy coat over the rest of his winter attire. K2 came down behind him, but Bodhi didn’t care so much about the reprogramed droid right now. 

 

Bodhi ran. He rushed through the people milling about, arms spread wide. Cassian barely had time to react before he was throwing himself at the man. Leaping at him might be a better description. He felt Cassian’s arms encircling him. Bodhi stood on the balls of his feet as he tried to get as close as possible to the man, and Cassian lifted him up a little too easily. His toes barely brushed against the hard floors. He grabbed his face and planted several kisses along his cheeks. “You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe.” He breathed out, then settled back on his feet when Cassian set him down. He gripped the front of his jacket, as if trying to hold him there. As if he might try to leave again. “You’re safe.” 

 

“I’m safe,” Cassian finally said, nodding his head. “Bodhi. I have to go report. Can you let me go for just a few more hours?” 

 

“No. I can’t do that. It’s been weeks. Can’t let you go.” Bodhi shook his head, looking at the man with eyes quickly filling with tears. “That’s selfish, Cassian. You know that it’s selfish. Don’t ask me for things like that. You know I can’t give that to you. Just want to hold you…” 

 

“You’re right. But I do still have a job.” Cassian started to stroke through his hair, petting him gently. Bodhi absolutely melted against him. “Are you cold? You’re shaking.” 

 

“So cold. You’re the only thing that makes me warm. Can’t get warm without you.” Bodhi was indeed shivering, but he didn’t really care. The hangar doors had been closed already, but the hangar bay still frigid from the short time they were open. The heating in the base was pathetic at best, but Cassian was already very warm. “Love you,” he said, kissing his cheek lightly. “I guess I have to let you go. I’ll be in my quarters. I’m done working for the day. Just had to fix Luke Skywalker’s communications panel, and it’s done. I think. So, I can go wait for you.” 

 

“That sounds nice,” Cassian replied, his fingers still carefully stroking through his hair. It was enough to leave Bodhi putty in his hands. “I am so sorry. I wish that I didn’t have to go and report, but you know that I must. I will see you afterward. Promise.” He brought his finger around, then gently touched his nose carefully. “And I will warm you up, however I can.” 

 

“You’re too good to me, Cassian.” 

 

“You deserve it.” 

 

Bodhi let Cassian pry his hands away. He sighed very softly, dropping them to his sides with a faint twitch. He stared at the other man’s boots as the top of his head was lightly kissed. He tilted his head up and let the other walk away. His heart beat in his chest, rather hard and fast. But Cassian was home, and that was all that mattered. Soon he would be in his arms. Warm. There was warmth in him now. His hands weren’t shaking anymore. 

 

* * *

  
  


Bodhi straightened up his quarters as best as he could. He dropped all of his extra blankets into a pile on the floor, knowing that he wouldn’t need them anymore. He wasn’t supposed to have them anyway. They were gifts from people on the base who knew how cold he got at night. He bent down to unlace his boots, throwing them off to the side, then sliding into the bed to wait for Cassian. It had already been two hours, and these debriefings usually didn’t last that long. Bodhi was a bit worried about what may have been discovered. He was never privy to the information that Cassian collected, but he knew the man did important work for the Rebellion. 

 

He didn’t have to wait much longer. The door slid open and the man walked inside. He was rubbing his hands together, obviously feeling the chill of the base around them as well. Soon, he was tucked up into the bunk beside him, and Bodhi was melting against his body. He felt like liquid conforming to the shape of its container. He had always done so with Cassian. Any lover he’d ever had before felt stilted and wrong in comparison to this. Bodhi didn’t ask how the debriefing went. It didn’t matter. Neither of them wanted to talk Rebellion right now anyway. 

 

His fingers worked quickly to open up Cassian’s jacket, and then he pressed forward against his chest. He bit his lip, relaxing into his warmth. Large hands ran down his back, rubbing at him to work more heat into his body. Bodhi’s constant shivering came to a stop as he tangled his legs up with Cassian’s. “Love you,” he muttered, earning a grunt in response. Cassian rarely said it back, but his actions spoke louder than words anyway. Bodhi pressed butterfly kisses to the bottom of his chin and jaw. Just the way he knew the man liked. 

 

“Bodhi…” 

“What?” 

 

“I have to go again.” 

 

Bodhi froze, his hands automatically gripping onto his shirt. He shivered again, imagining his bunk. Cold. Lonely. Without Cassian there, his heart would freeze over again. And he would be cold. Cold enough that his bones would ache. “How soon?” 

 

“Tomorrow.” 

 

“I see.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

Bodhi shook his head, chewing the inside of his cheek. He didn’t need to man’s apologies. He could tell by the way Cassian was holding onto him that he didn’t want to go. “I imagine that I’ll be sent off soon, too. They’ve been talking about getting me off-planet, flying freight. It’s what I’m good at, after all. And then I wouldn’t have to be here all the time.” The _without_ _you_ that he didn’t say was implied. “It’s cold here. I don’t like it.” 

 

“No one likes it, Bodhi.” 

 

He sighed heavily. “I know that. But I especially don’t like it. Makes my hands shake so hard that I can barely work. Have to hand over simple tasks sometimes.” 

 

“Is it just the cold, Bodhi? Is that the only problem?” 

 

He bit his lip hard. “No,” he whispered, feeling a chill settle over him again. When the other didn’t say anything, clearly expecting him to elaborate, Bodhi sighed. “No… I fear. I am always afraid. Of losing you, of course. Your missions are dangerous. But also of the darkness coming back again. I...I fear that. I am afraid of my old life coming back to haunt me. That the Rebellion may not accept me. I have been here for-for so long now, and I still feel like such an outsider. You’re the only one that makes me feel like I belong. You’re my link here. Without you...I’m...lost.” 

 

Cassian didn’t say anything for awhile. He was clearly gathering his words, which was fine for the moment. The man always thought hard about what to say in instances like this. He was careful with his words, choosing them carefully. Bodhi just talked. He spoke quickly and without breath. Saying almost anything that came to mind. 

 

“You are...my link, too.” 

 

Bodhi frowned a bit. He scooted back away from the warmth so that he could see the man’s face. Cassian was frowning, looking very severe. It sent a thrill of nerves through Bodhi’s slim frame. “What do you mean?” 

 

“You give me something to come home to.” He sighed a bit. “My family is gone. I’ve been fighting for so long that I don’t remember a time before it. Before you...I never had anything to come back to. I would spend a day or two on the base between missions, and I would sleep alone. I had no one. No real friends. I never thought of...romance as something that I could have.” His eyes flicked down to Bodhi’s, and the just the traces of a smile formed on his face. “You are home.” 

 

“You are home,” Bodhi repeated, then smiled brightly at the man. If it was a bit watery thanks to the tears gathering in his eyes. He reached up and scrubbed his sleeve over his eyes. Then, he leaned forward and gave the man a gentle kiss. “Cold,” he whispered, slipping back down so press against his chest again. His eyes closed as he felt Cassian undoing his ponytail and running his fingers through his hair. “You’re my warmth.” 

 

“I love you.” 

 

Bodhi’s heart warmed even more. “Yes. Love you, too.” 

 

Tomorrow, Cassian would have to leave him once again. And that was sad. They would be separated for another number of weeks. But for the night, Bodhi got to be wrapped up against his lover, and that was all that mattered to him in the moment. Cassian held him as he fell asleep, fingers consistently working through his hair or brushing down his back. Each touch was like liquid comfort injected into his veins. His bones no longer ached. His heart was beating warm and wet in his chest. And Cassian Andor loved him.

  
Even Hoth’s freezing temperatures couldn’t touch him like this. 


End file.
